To Tell or Not to Tell? Imagine being 11 years old and the only father you know now wants to adopt you. The problem is that you never knew he wasn’t your real dad. This is the situation in one of the adoption cases I’m currently working on. The biological mother remarried the child’s step-dad when the child was only 2 years old. Ever since then, the both the biological mother and step dad have raised the child as their own biological child.

They come in to officially adopt the child under the condition that no one is allowed to tell the child that he is being adopted and that the man he always knew to be his father is in fact his step-father.

Not telling this sixth grader creates a whole set of legal as well as understandably emotional problems. First and foremost in order to proceed to adoption a social worker must visit the home and prepare a home-study which is a report outlining the home conditions, interviews with all residents of the home, how the child interacts in the home, background information on all members in the household. One of the most important aspects of the home-study is the interview with the child to see how the child is interacting in the home. The problem arises here because there can be no such interview with the child because no one is allowed to tell the child he is being adopted. Other problems may arise depending on how the judge feels about this 11 year old child not being informed about the adoption.… <Read More>